Dear K,
Thank you for always being open to talking.Thank you for not just listening but participating and being present with me as we pull back the layers of an age-old love story: something you hate doing.
We both know I am an emotional giant. I’m a wiz with reflecting on how I feel and even better at finding the words to describe them but slow to provide you with the space needed to reflect (albeit a flaw that I am conquering every day).
Now we are years later, after a sincere but failed attempt at being ambitious college students trying to assemble what we thought a relationship should be. Yet, we found ourselves back here — staring at each other. Souls and hearts laid bare, forced to reckon with if we will leave the past behind or continue to write the pages on a roller-coaster of a love story.
When we started chatting, I honestly was not plotting on you. But as fate will have it, I sat there listening to you, and then I felt this aura of comfort fall over me- refreshing and robust yet so familiar. And I could not help but think, “Damn, I miss this girl.” Then flowed a feeling of happiness, and I just could not let this feeling go, so I decided to explore it further. When I wrote that letter, THE letter, it was merely my way of expressing my interest in chasing what I felt with you. Though I think I expressed my perspective well, I still feel this urge to explain(over-explain) further.
I want to be here, with you, right now as your friend; however, I want to set my intentions with you. When I think of you, I see both a movie reel of our past and a clear view of what could be our future. K, I want you to continue to be free, prioritize your career, creating a life where you are the center and chase all the feelings that I’ve said led me to you. That letter, THE letter, was me asking that if/when you are ready to open your heart to love, that I would be first in line. Not because I deserve it but because I will have earned it. By continuing to be your friend and a confidant, challenging you, growing with you, and hopefully loving you(friendly) as no one can.
That letter, THE letter, was me setting the tone, establishing a distant but very genuine expectation, NOT requiring a daunting commitment (I’m dramatic)from you. This does not mean I am going to wait for you but that I take you seriously.
With Love,
Q
